Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I want just one guy to prove me wrong!

On any given day I can scroll through my Facebook feed and see at least 5-6 girls with facebook status updates that go something like this..."So done with players! Are there any good guys left?!""I hate men... They are all the same!" And my personal favorite....

~~~~~"I want just one guy to prove me wrong!"~~~~~

So my question is this... Have we really come to a day and age where we have given up on the other gender? Have we became so cynical and downtrodden by past experience that we simple expect things NOT to work out? I'm a firm believer in the law of attraction. Positive people attract positive things in their life. Negative people seem to continue to attract that negative energy.
I'm far from perfect, hell some might consider me broken. I'm 31, single, and I live in a Utah where the average age to get married is 22! So essentially I'm the male Jennifer Aniston of Salt Lake City. Yet, I'm extremely happy with my life. I've had my fair share of dysfunctional relationships, but I'm optimistic that when the time is right I'll meet a woman that will, for lack of better words "sweep me off my feet." I'm certainly not hoping to find "just one girl to prove me wrong!" Seriously what kind of attitude is that?

So ladies explain this to me, what do the male species need to prove? Guys, what do the female species need to prove? I for one don't want to have to "prove" myself to anyone. I don't expect anyone to "prove" themselves to me. Instead of expecting someone to let us down, why don't we expect and respect ourselves enough to expect a happy ending (no pun intended.)

They say the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. So if every guy you have ever dated has been a douche bag and a liar, stop dating douche bags and liars! If every girl you date is crazy, stop dating crazy girls! Instead of blaming it all on the other person, look in the mirror. What is it that you are doing to attract these types of people in your life?

I for one, have a long past of dating unemployed, needy, woman. I know I attract them! I attract them because I inwardly see it as a form of validation. I feel loved when someone "needs" me, whether that be financially, emotionally, or mentally. This is a character flaw that I am very well aware of, but I'm working on it! It's only been in the last year that I've really realized that the girl I want is the girl that will allow me to do things for her, but doesn't need me to do things for her. A girl that wants me in her life, but don't need me in her life. The old Jerry Maguire ideology of "you complete me" is complete and utter bullshit! Nobody can complete you! They can compliment you, they can bring out the best in you, they can inspire you to be a better person, and they can be there to help you through times of darkness and despair but they can never "complete you."  
I'm confident that their are still and always will be amazing people in this world, guys that aren't cheaters, and girls that aren't emotional basket cases and both that are honest and trustworthy. I believe the key to finding these people is to stop looking. Stop expecting the next person to be the wrong person. Be optimistic, be hopeful, and most importantly be open to what comes your way. The happiest relationship I've ever seen are the relationships where people tell me that their significant other is the complete opposite of everyone else they have ever dated. Take a chance on the nice guy, or the nerd, or the shy guy.

My challenge to you, and myself included is this... The next time you meet someone that gives you chills up the spine, that person that makes the hair on your neck pop up you see their name on your caller ID, and that person that you have a strong mental connection with, do yourself a favor...trust them, give them the benefit of the doubt. Give them 100% of your trust. You could get extremely hurt, it's a very valid concern, but you could also find your best friend. Expect what you want out of a relationship, don't settle, and most importantly, HAVE FUN! Life is too short to be miserable. You're only one decision away from changing your life.